Category Archives: prose

Beautiful You

It’s a usual-fine working day. I was sticking onto the mode of my hectic office schedule. It’s quite boring, I know. Still I have to do it. While searching for a worksheet from my cabin, I had seen my cell vibrated and flashed, with an unknown number, on the adjacent table. I froze before picking up the call.

“Hello…. Sachin..!”

“Yes”, a female voice, that too who knows my name, was on the other side. My heart smiled.

“Sakshi here”

Suddenly I coughed, though it was an unintentional response. I felt a little odd, not feeling nostalgic, when she, my ex-girlfriend, called at that moment.

“Shall we meet today evening?” She asked as if she wanted to meet me urgently.

I had a busy schedule ahead, but I replied with a ‘yes’ without going for a second thought. She dropped the call and it was then I realized what I told her— why should I meet her after ending up everything? Anyway, I decided to meet her in the evening like we, nope, like I said.

I called her back and asked at where we should meet. We agreed to meet up in a well-known coffee-house within the city at 6 o’ clock in the evening.

She was my high school sweetheart. We had a special tuning in between us which no one could deny in our school. I loved her sincerely, but she had an over doubtful nature that ate our relationship later, and then we both got separated because of the unequalled reason that we both admitted into different colleges in different cities. Since then we never contacted each other as our relationship didn’t end up on a sweet lovely tale. The day when we broke up finally was quite dramatic in life; I wanted to forget all those memories forever. I didn’t realise we have travelled a six-year journey to talk to each other again.

“Shall we leave now?”

My colleague, Sarthak, who didn’t know what was running in my mind, asked me. I came back to the present— sitting on my chair, regardless of caring about an hour just passed by.

“Oh yeah! I have to go to city today, Sarthak. Drop me at the bus stop”

“As you say, Sir” he fake smiled and left my cabin.

He dropped me at the bus stop like he said. I walked into the coffee-house, which was located nearer by, and sat somewhere on the corner for a table of two. I looked out through the glass of the coffee-house. Minutes passed. I had a sudden look through the time. It’s getting late. I looked out through the window, again. I saw her. I had instant goose bumps seeing her at a short distance. I failed to understand why.

She was carelessly walking towards the coffee-house. She loved that. She entered in. She looked around and saw me sitting there. Her black hair hardly touched her shoulders which reminded me of our fights over her frequent haircuts. I preferred her to have long hair, but she always revolted to agree upon with the wish I had. My perfect slim gal had lost weight, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want her to enter the coffee-house. I feared of losing to glare at her. But everything has its end.

“Hey! Sachin..”

“Hello, Sakshi” though I longed to ask our usual queries: “How are you, my love?”

She greeted happily and I smiled, too. I adored her light floral top with blue jeans. There’s time when she used to choose whatever I wore. I always loved her taste. Her lips were getting wet quickly as she drank her coffee. I knew which coffee it was. After all, some things about human never changes.

“How am I looking today?”

I laughed at such silly query from her. It’s her patent question whenever we used to meet.

“Beautiful”

She shyly smiled.

We talked so much, literally so much. Every time she smiled I tried to find an answer to an unknown query, she had in her sad eyes.

“Tell me! How’re you? How is everything going on with you? How’s life? How’s your girlfriend?”

“Umm…I don’t have one” I retorted. Being after 6 long years, still I couldn’t find another mate for me.

She laughed, “You haven’t changed, Mr. Shy Sachin.. Remember? Even in our case I was the one who striked a conversation. I smiled back at her and we continued talking about everything from Indian politics to her favourite holiday spots. It’s when we’re about to leave she said “I just have a month here”

“What?”

“I mean, a month with you,” She replied, so casually, like asking me which color to wear.

“Oh.. I see”

“You must include me in your schedule now. At least for this month,”

She smiled as she said it. I felt confused twofold. But I was sure that I couldn’t say no.

After that day, every 6 o’clock in the evening I was with her. I noticed that her eyes got more glittered, like earlier before, with time. I observed her dark circles below her eyes. Everyday– “How am I looking today?”– was her first query. I didn’t give an objection against my usual answer; I reluctantly said she was beautiful. She got a bob haircut. I didn’t say anything. I just wanted to be with her.

By the end of the month she suffered from sickness. I took 14 days leave from my office schedules. My friends were shocked as I had never taken such a long vacation. I started visiting where she lived. When I entered her flat for the very first time, I thought I had entered a hospital because of the smell prevailing there. But I stayed silent.

I felt odd with her growing sickness. There’s no sign of improvement in her. Slowly, we stopped going out, instead we stayed at her house.

I asked her one night when she leaned on my shoulder and was reading our favourite book, The Great Gatsby, for me.

“Are you alright, love?” I asked her, but she had already fallen asleep. I stayed together with her that night. It’s our first night together.

When I brought tea to her room, she asked me again “Am I looking beautiful?”

She had just risen up from her bed. Her hair was all messed up. Her loose tee showed her weary neck bone. Her eyes had swallowed although she took a proper sleep but I found peace in her presence. And I said “yes”. Tears were shedding from me. I hid my feelings inside.

I felt like she’s hiding her pain from me, too. I helped her to get to the washroom. She looked too weak and old. I wanted to cry but she smiled like she used to during our old school days. That afternoon she told me about her mom’s accident and death. I realised, while spending time with her, I almost forgotten to ask everything about her family. She cried in my embrace. I was sad for her mother but felt good as she’s in my arms.

Her mother had raised Sakshi on her own. Her father was our family friend and a martyr who died when Sakshi was studying in fourth standard. I have always respected her mother. The way she supported Sakshi to conquer her vision to become an architect was appreciable. It’s my first time to see a parent to know her child dream even before she had witnessed it.

It’s fourth day of a new month. After dressing up I left home to meet her. As she opened the door, I felt embarrassed. She’s awfully beautiful today. She wore a grey color lightly shimmered dress. I looked at her face. Little makeup had done magic. She looked like an angel– exactly an angel.

“Do I look beautiful today?”

“You’re my angel”

Her weakened legs were caged in high heels. She couldn’t walk properly. Hence, I carried her inside. I loved the way from her door to room. It’s a lifetime in some moments for us. We made love. When we’re about to sleep she gave me a box. I insisted to open it but she asked me to do it in morning.

She never woke up. My girl took her last breathes in my arms. When I took her to hospital doctor told me about her prolonged cancer. My heart already knew it though she never told me and I didn’t ever ask. I didn’t want to die before her.

I opened the box. It’s our house she dreamed of. Her note read “I kept my promise to grow old with you”.

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My Hostel – A heaven Infused with memories

 4 June’15

Dear Diary,

Today, the first day after I had left my hostel. I don’t feel good. I miss my hostel as well as college. You know, on the day of our farewell, many of my friends cried but I didn’t. Then, on the hostel farewell, too– my friends were crying, but I didn’t. My heart was heavy, hence my eyes challenged to brim with tears, too. Yea! I didn’t cry. I was feeling so nostalgic about why I was not crying even when I was so sad. So, I consoled them and waited for my upcoming days to unburden my heart and mind for missing what I had been through all these 4 years of my college life.

Hastily, time passed and my last day at hostel came. Somehow, I woke up around seven in the morning which was quite unusual as we had slept around 3 am on the night before. And in my entire hostel life I have never woke up at that early hour excluding exam times and I haven’t ever tried to do the same. For aspiring Indian Engineers like me, exams are one night show. I stood from my bed and withdrew the curtains from big-three-joined-together windows of my room. My room’s windows are seriously one of the best amenities– that a hostel room has been provided with— available for a not-so-comfortable stay we had there for valuable four years. Peeking out through that small window was always awesome and whenever it rained, my god, it’s exactly a heaven as the cold breeze ventilated our room so properly, still with a dirty tone. For the very last time, I looked outside through that window. My heart stiffened. Sun had just risen up. I felt relieved, though I knew how it’s turning out to be after a couple of hours after all it’s peak summer month in city like Delhi. I stood there for some more time. People were having their morning walks, talking to each other, and enjoying the soothing meek sun rays falling on them. I sensed that the coolness of breeze conveyed a little more emotional attachment with what I had been through at that moment. It had rained last night.

After few minutes of enjoying weather, along with adamant expression of breeze, tears kissed my cheeks for the first time in this memorable month— maybe the worst one ever in my life. Suddenly, I couldn’t control the feelings I had inside and it ended up shedding of tears. I started crying like a three or four-year old child. Pragya, my junior as well as the one who stayed next to my room, sleeping with my roommate on bed, woke up and squinted towards me. I sat beside her. I continued crying. Yes, we three shared the same room for the past few weeks although only two persons are allowed stay together as per hostel policies; but we did so with a trifling reason of using one cooler together and its high hostel fee. However, we kept it as a secret from our Hitler warden. Her eyes were wet, too. We already have made a special bond in between us within ten months. She calls me “mommy”, I don’t know why, maybe because of my habit of giving advises and telling who should do what and when. I gazed at her and reel of thousands of memories of togetherness– with tea in winters, our late night talks, preparing dinner together and a lot more– ran through my mind. My wailing increased. She groaned, “Mommyyy… Can’t you stay for one more day.. Please..”. I thought on it but my dad was all set to come that afternoon. I couldn’t change my plan on the last moment. “I can’t.. Pragya..” And I continued crying.

“Viditi, please thodi der mei royei.. Bhut needh aa rahi h abhi… Pakka tujhe sambhalugi phir..”

“Viditi, Can we cry later? I feel so sleepy right now and I promise to comfort you then”

 My childish roommate, Gargi, said. She said it with so much innocence and purity in emotions for her love to sleep at anytime. Pragya and I laughed for her required feedback. She realised what she had just said and she laughed too. I observed her face while sleeping and felt happy, I don’t know why, but I felt happy. Maybe because of the contented smile and satisfaction she carries for her life. Maybe because she lived in the present moment which asked her to sleep, unlike me who was crying for what I’m going to miss, my past. I ran my hand on her forehead and she smiled innocently.

“Let’s sleep, Pragya”, again as a mommy I directed her to join Gargi in her sleep along with me. And we three slept accepting the present moment and not worrying about what would hit us after a few hours.

Good night!

Drops of love

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“Why are you crying, baby?”

She continues crying.

“C’mon, he’s not gonna die.. It’s just a movie of melodramatic story”

She doesn’t reply and cries louder, watching the movie together with him, resting her head on his lap.

“Tell me.. Why are you crying so much.. It’s not even real?”, he asked, fondling her glossy- short hair.

She blinks her eyes, freeing the dribble of tears pouring down from her eyelashes rendered with black mascara.

Later then, she squints towards his face to see whether he’s hiding his eyes away from her.

She feels the unaltered ardent glory of passion she’d on him while staring at the wetness beneath his mysterious eyes last night. Most of the times, he does this to hide away from her and lay down happiness in her. But this time, she catches him instantly and suddenly rises up from his lap.

She sits, crossing her both thighs around his lap and holds his jaw in her palm. He tries to break out from her innocent figure, a portrayal of an emotionally dissociated part of his love.

“I know it’s not real, but I know you will do the same for me if such sort of circumstances would come..”, she replies while hugging him without looking at his eyes. All-in-all, he realizes what she is actually thinking of him. He never tries to question her: she feels so secure to wrap his arms around her.

Let it be

let

She: “I don’t love you… don’t ask the same question…”

He: “But why??…… Aren’t we…… So what’s it? ..Tell me….”

She: ” Please… why are you complicating things?.. Go now… you’re getting late..”

After two hours…

She: “You’re so irresponsible….. Why didn’t you call me??… I was so worried…. Where are you?”

He: “hmm….. Still you don’t love me..”

silence…

“Love, you can refuse to say it but can’t refuse to accept it”  -emile

My Best Friend

 
 
I met this gal three years ago. My first impression for her was “my god! She’s so weird!” The way she ate, the way she walked and the way she talked was so different that I was attracted towards her. Then the usual talking began. We two didn’t even realize when we became friends then best friends then roommate and now I call her as my daughter. Though, I say so for fun as she’s a little irresponsible and I have to take care of her like reminding her to carry metro card!
It’s her birthday today. She’s away from me enjoying summer vacations so I shared this poem with her as it belong to her. Then, my stomach tickled and I decided to share it here too.
 
 
 

 

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I never knew I will have her
That smiling face, shining eyes and curved hair
 
My daughter as i call that gal
My best friend as they see her


“Don’t hide your problems”, she says to me
then I say it all making even tears free

When we look into each other eyes
there’s a sea, full of love, care
and of talks as we had a journey of miles

small small fights that we have
over unwashed mug, untidy room
notes sharing and going out
but they ended before our walk in the moon

same age same health and same height
is what we have if looked from outside

but what we have common, is beyond these things
innocence, emotions, fears, likes, mind and understandings

 
 

 

 

My "You"

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

“Now, listen to me very carefully”, Rohan directed her love, Nisha, while explaining their project on fluid mechanics to her.

 

She was lost in his thoughts looking at him with her eyes full of love and the discussion going over her head.

 

He took a pause, looked at her from the book and asked, “Got me?”

 

She amorously replied, “Yeah! I got you…and you?”

 

The fluid in mechanics took a romantic turn. He took her in his arms from the desk she was sitting on and said, “Yeah! My “you””.

 

She giggled and they smiled looking in each others’ eyes.

 

 

 
#100WordsStory
 

Expected Friends






I had a friend, a mother like a friend whom I used to admire with her ability to care. With time my passion for her grew up, I saw her as a mother figure in the hostelry where I dwelled together with her in a common room. Only after our friendship picked up its top it started coming down; her work, her problems more precisely her own life took over. It’s no harm though. But lamentably, I became a “time-thing” for her. 

Now, what’s this “time-thing”? To be fair, you may not encounter this word in the dictionary. I have simply invented it while resting on my bed thinking over the ceiling of our friendship.

It simply means that she was with me whenever she was free of everything and everyone. Yea! There’s nothing wrong with it. But, I was nowhere when my lil heart encountered a lil break. She was nowhere when I was gone away in solitude to dissolve as much as I can. She was nowhere when I needed her for some words of advice. She was nowhere………. I tried calling her. But her life’s battle overshadowed me and I kept as a silent bird as I appreciated her courageous path of sharing her battle. Then came the spring of her life, I quietly waited for her to listen to me now. But this time her joy overshadowed me. I was again pulled up stakes with my words inside.

There’s nothing like I didn’t have any other ally; she really means a lot to me. In fact, I have every relation with me which a gal of my age has. I lived a contented life with lovely bonds around me. I have many ears to listen to me, my new roommate whom I conceive my daughter now, my family and my rolling diary. Beside ears, they offer a simple level of understanding too. I admire their way of knowing me so well. But the problem with me or any other human is that we “expect”. Yes, it’s where I failed. I expected a lot. She’s someone who doesn’t tell her worries easily and I respected her privacy. But I suppose, she forgot that I loved to share mine with whom I love. She blanked out to take me. She blanked out to read my eyes.






I recollect an incident of this New Year where I was excited to celebrate it with my acquaintances. They readily agreed. But slowly, as the day came, the day on which we had decided to celebrate, there was a minor reluctance in their eyes. I felt so bad. I, so badly, wanted a change. While we’re leaving I had a heated argument with my other friend. I expected her to say something, but she moved forward, leaving us two arguing. I felt so alone. She had no more belonged to me. I was so silly to realize it. I compelled her staying with me, but she could never do. I was so stupid to realize it then also. She was getting disappear from our casual CCD outing, our crazy shopping, our nagging naps…… She vanished and appeared when she had no one other than me. I have moved around to be her “time-thing”.

On a very fine day, not very old, I finally realized it; I have abandoned our friendship. I vanished as well. I don’t want to burden her bonds. It’s not like she’s wrong. But I thought, I have been so unsuccessful to understand her behavior. The reason, I suppose, is that we have outgrown each other. Maybe my thinking and my decision is wrong but for now, it’s making me feel a little strange as well. I felt happiness in biding her “Goodbye” though I still consider her as my friend, but the difference is I expect “nothing” from her as a friend of mine; I’m not estimating her a friend of mine from what she was to what she is either. It would be so strange that I will never listen to her, in that way, anymore; I will never turn childish to her now; I will never force her to stay with me; I will never ask her to go out with me, we’re expected to be friends. If she is happy being without me, then why should I follow her through my silliness? If she couldn’t understand me, then how can we talk or at least give a worth smile at each other whenever we see? Nevertheless, we’re still friends. Maybe, we’ve certain barriers to be rooted for our friendship. Nowadays, we’re just “Expected friends” for ourselves, aren’t we?





Smiles







“Did you bring my colors?”

“Sorry doll, I forgot”

She was turning to leave when he said, “But there’s something in my pocket”.

She chortled and asked “What??”

He gazed his daughter’s smile as she opened her colors’ box.


Lives

I am writing too much #micropoetries these days, I know. But this is what I can do with my little time to write and so much to write . Actually, I adore simplicity and preciseness in any writing that’s one of the reason I end up with such “chotu si” (little) work of poetry. Hope you enjoy reading it!

I

His words
Were her life
But she didn’t know
When silence blows
Such lives
Dies…